Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Forgettable Flan: The Roots Tour to Taos, 2017

In which we get the band back together, with some new blood.

The best time of day on our family vacations is early in the morning, when I get up and make some tea and sit down to find out what went on in the world while we slept, and also write about our adventures.  Often, others are awake, but reading in their own spaces, although Izzy will usually creep out and cozy up nearby with a book.  It is quiet and calm and beautiful outside and everything is possible.[1] 

Forgettable Flan – the band, the legend – was born in Taos, NM, clothed in the New York look, and rode to fame on the strength of such unforgettable hits as “Bombshell” and “Two Margs and a New York Strip.”  After touring extensively in North America and Europe (some highlight albums include:  The Telluride Sessions, Orbitale, and Panna Cotta:  Flan in Rome), the band evolved:  they grew up, added families and partners, and founding member Andy Reinhardt moving to Europe to record independently.  Now Flan is back with new members Petey the Fish (lyrics) and the Enforcer (on bass).  This is the chronicle of their recent tour to where it all started.





[1] This also happens not on vacation, but it is better on vacation.

The Roots Tour: Taos, 2017 Day 1

If you want to ski in interesting places, you have to work to get there.  This means hauling ridiculous amounts of heavy equipment in and out of too-small taxis, long flights, endless airports,[1] even more endless drives, and, inevitably, a stop at Sonic for burgers.

We opt for the path of least flight delays, which involves flying to Denver and then driving almost five hours through prairie and mountains and desert to Taos.  If you are lucky, at the end of your drive you might be rewarded with a cozy nest as nice as Casa Escondida, our digs for the week, courtesy of HomeAway.com.  Bill and I have been to Taos before so we know what delights await in this surprisingly sprawling town (was it always this big?), but this is the first time for the new band members.  Still, even though the house has everything we could ask for, it is twilight when we arrive and everything is kind of dark and quiet and piñon-smoky so they are maybe not so sure. 

Still, this uncertainty is nothing that a green chile cheeseburger at the locally famed Michael’s Kitchen (home of cinnamon buns the size of your head) cannot help with.  Peter is doing a tasting tour of this regional specialty; rankings follow in the Appendix. 

Brief historical note on Taos. This town, about an hour or so north of its more glamorous and famous cousin Santa Fe, is best known for its pueblo, which has been continuously inhabited by humans for over 1000 years.  Such perspective is important for us New Englanders – we think we know from old America but of course we do not.  You want your America First?  Visit the southwest, Mr. President: your First Americans are still here. 

You can visit the pueblo but it closes for the winter so we never have.  Sign o’ the times:  check out their website to learn more.

A note about driving on ski trips.  You have to have music, but we try to tune in locally, so that we learn about what’s up in the area.  We particularly enjoy the local Crimestoppers show, which consists of announcements about persons-of-interest being sought by the po-po.  “White male, between 20 and 30 years old, medium build, may or may not have facial hair.”  Well that narrows it down.  Such car-radio also involves “oldies” which is another term for all of the Eagles’ oeuvre, ever, every time we are in the car.  It gives us a Peaceful, Easy feeling.





[1] BUT if you tweet @SouthwestAirlines about anything, they will tweet you back!  And if you tweet them after waiting 45 minutes for your skis in Denver, your skis will come out!  Now that’s service. 

The Roots Tour: Taos, 2017 Day 2

Taos Ski Valley (TSV) is an old-school ski area, just the kind we Laskins like.  So old in fact that it feels a bit like skiing in New England – the same kind of bare-bones cafeteria and cold restrooms with wet floors covered in sludgy little islands of tissues – until you look up, that is.  Then the Sangre de Cristo mountains tower right up above you to fierce ridges that protect high steep bowls full of snow and bumps.  And above that is the bluest sky you’ve ever seen. 

You have to drive about 35 minutes to get there from our house, which means plenty of time for the Long Run. 

Once at the ski area, there’s the requisite faux-Alpine gestalt that accompanies any ski resort founded by members of the 1938 Austro-Germanic-Swiss Ski Instructor Exodus.[1]  Taos’ Ernie Blake – born Ernst Hermann Bloch in Frankfurt (!) – spotted the valley while flying between instructor gigs at Santa Fe Ski Basin and Glenwood Springs in the early 1950s.  How old school is Taos?  They didn’t permit snowboarding until 2010!  The Blake family owned the place until 2013 and now a hedge-fund billionaire named Tom Bacon owns it, which is good, because they’re adding upgrades and spiffing things up just a little. 

To wit, while we are here, we learn that the TSV corp. has received the much-coveted B certification from the B Lab, demonstrating their commitment to “deliberate and thoughtful social, economic, and environmental actions.”[2]  This is the first ski resort in the world to achieve this, joining other such socially responsibly organizations as Patagonia and Ben and Jerry’s.  I think it is great, and am particularly enamored of their sustainability campaign:  Taos VERDE, which features a jaunty green chile.  Things really are better with Bacon! 

Still, other changes move at a more deliberate pace.  At the base area there is an old sign that says “DON’T PANIC you are only looking at 1/30th of the ski area.”  This is because pretty much the only run you can see from the bottom is a very steep bumper called Al’s Run, and indeed, it is not for the faint of heart.  But once you ride Lift 1, you get to all kinds of nice terrain for everyone.  This sign has been here for at least 25 years, and now is probably more for photo opps than anything else. 
  
But TSV is actually full of warnings.  On Lift 7, the instructions tell you to “actually wait at the board that says wait” and then remind you to move out smartly at the liftie’s command because “hesitation=devastation!”  At the Kachina Peak chair, there are dire warnings that you must stop yourself before you can’t because (skull-and-crossbones) “YOU COULD DIE” (skull-and-crossbones).  But our favorite warning is at the top of Lift 2, where a surprisingly life-like dummy lies spread-eagled on the snow, near a sign that states “SLIM SLIDELL SAYS:  KNOW HOW TO SELF-ARREST!” and then gives instructions on how to do so.  Slim is wearing a blue ski suit, helmet, boots, gloves, which are all duct-taped together.  He looks more alarming when partially covered by snow, because he brings to mind images of Mallory’s body on Everest.[3] 

Apparently Slim came out just a few days before we arrived.  He is a mountain fixture from mid-season on, as they move into icy mornings that produce slippery conditions on the steeps. 

First day ski conditions found a touch of ice, and crappy visibility due to some clouds and graupel[4] but we all manage to find our way around.  Izzy even got to Hunziker Bowl with her class!  Now, a word on Izzy and ski school.  She is a real connoisseur of alpine ski school instructors, having had many in her short 11½ years.  Two have even entered her fiery pantheon of instructors:  Spencer from Telluride (he even has a lovey named after him, the bear known as Jelly Spencer Mooshie) and Parker from Sun Valley (who handed out pins and introduced everyone to avi dogs).  So you know, give us your best, Taos, because this bar is set sky-high.  Clinton, on day 1, does not disappoint, although he has yet to really distinguish himself.  Still, he charmed me by asking if this was my wonderful daughter when I picked her up, and telling me what a great skier she is.  

Clinton could go into my fiery pantheon of ski instructors but I think he has a man bun under that helmet and that is a non-starter. 





[1] See “Our Sun Valley Serenade” from February, 2016 for historical background on the development of American ski resorts in the mid-20th c.
[2] TSV Press release, 2.22.17.  http://www.skitaos.com/bcorp/
[3] Don’t look at this link if you don’t want to be slightly grossed out by images of dead climbers. 
[4] That is the official name for that weird, pellet-like spring snow that looks like crumbled-styrofoam.

The Roots Tour: Taos, 2017 Day 3

Traveling with Peter is proving to be a boon to journal writing because he is just a font of good material.  To wit, and I mean wit:  this morning I remarked on how windy a particular run had felt.  Bill, I think in an attempt at gallantry, said I was making my own wind, which I think mean I was going so fast but sounded not quite like that.  While I was struggling to find a witty riposte, because there must be one where making wind is concerned, Peter did not miss a beat remarking that Dad knows a lot about making his own wind. 

Wit aside, the scion of the C-bridge Laskins is a little subdued this morning, possibly a result of an enormous but surprisingly forgettable green chile cheeseburger last night. 

Turns out it was just a case of making your own wind and all was well.

Which means, lunch at the Bavarian!  The Bav is a revered TSV institution, although it was only built in 1995.  Bill and I had been here before, and lunch on the deck on a sunny day is a must-do.  It is tucked way down in a valley at the end of Lift 4, near the far more prosaic Phoenix Grill (standard-issue ski area cafeteria, the only way you know you are not in New England is the pork green chile at the soup bar and all that beer.).  At the Bavarian, you can have schnitzel or wurst and great big mugs of echt deutsche Bier, all brought to you by a waitress in a dirndl that clearly required her to purchase a special bra.  We ended up in the splendidly gemütlich interior (lots of steins and pelts and stuffed animals – the real kind, not like Izzy’s loveys – all over the place).  A few wurst and a giant piece of apple strudel sets you up just right for the afternoon, skiing or a nap.

Funny thing though, I kept getting confused by the clock over the bar.  Was it the altitude addling my brain, which made it look like the clock was running backwards?  No, it really was.  The Bavarian, says Peter, the lodge that time forgot.   (See what I mean?  That kid is on fire.)

Today was spectacularly sunny and we take advantage to ride all the way up to Kachina Peak, elev. 12,483.  This is REALLY high, they claim the highest ski lift in North America.  You can see nearby Wheeler Peak, the highest peak in New Mexico, and also you can see lots of double black diamond signs because that is the only way down.  In fact, it is not that difficult, just very long and lots of bumps, but today they are forgiving and soft and we are happy and chuffed as you can tell from the five million pictures I took and posted of this event.

Not everyone is happy with the K-Peak lift itself, which only opened in 2014.  Some felt that it was violating the mystic ideal of TSV by granting easy access to the highest point on the heretofore-hike-to-only ridge.  Only by hiking up along the ridge and dropping back into the ski area – you can hike for 20 minutes or two hours, it basically is the spine of the entire resort except that you can’t go off the other side – can you claim the title Ridge Head.  Others wondered about the ancient nature of settlement here.  At the Phoenix Lodge you can see an ancient pot that was discovered up high about 20 years ago.  Why were people so high up with pots?  Aren’t they heavy?  No one knows.  Management did consult the Pueblo, since the peak is considered sacred to them.  Turns out that the leadership of the Pueblo, like that of Cambridge, Mass., changes every year.  One year:  no, you may not call the lift the Kachina Peak lift.  Next year:  We don’t care what you call it!  So, Kachina Peak Lift it is.

Others were concerned about the environmental impact of building the lift, in an area that is home to all sorts of rare alpine flora and fauna.  What would happen to the bighorn sheep, for example?  They, as it turned out, were unperturbed by the activity, apparently ambling in every night to check out the construction materials for the lift towers.  So the sheep are fine, but there was a teeny tiny purple flower the name of which I forget, that is apparently highly endangered but thrives in this particular area.  The construction teams had to dig up and transplant every one of them that they came across.  This is how you get B Corp status.

Did they build the lift just to get more people to the resort?  Hard to see how that is working out, since it is blissfully un-crowded here this week.  

What would my dad have thought of it?  I think he’d have decried the despoiling of the Taos Ridge myth.  Then he’d have ridden it up and been happy back in the day when he still skied bumps.

That was an exhausting day!  Dinner tonight at the very popular Orlando’s.  While waiting by the atmospheric (read:  smoky) outdoor firepit for our table, we heard the following conversation.  I’m paraphrasing, because I can’t remember it word-for-word, but this is pretty close and Peter will back me up on it.

Dad to teenage children:  Do you think we could put the devices down for a bit?

Teenage daughter to Dad: I’m TEXTING with someone. (Lisa to herself:  that would be a no.)

Dad to teenage son:  Did you hear that so-and-so is studying winemaking at Cornell?  That’s pretty cool.

Teenage Son to Dad:  Cornell has the highest suicide rate of the Ivies.  This is because it is the easiest to get into, so all these kids get in there that can’t handle it and they kill themselves.

Dad:  How do you know this?

T.S.:  It is a well-known fact.

Dad:  But what is the evidence that the suicide rate is connected to academic performance?  Do they look at SATs, for example? 

T.S.:  There is plenty of evidence.

Dad:  But what is the evidence, what are the statistics?  That’s a pretty broad claim to make without evidence.

(Lisa to herself:  I’ve heard that about Cornell too, but I thought it was because the gorges made it easier to do oneself in.  Who says Cornell is the easy Ivy?)

T.S.:  That is what the evidence shows, everyone knows it.  I don’t need to cite SAT scores. 

 (Peter, thinking to himself:  well, I’m taking statistics and you do.)

Dad:  But you can’t just make a statement like that without evidence . . .

Waitress:  your table is ready! 

And so ended this fascinating exchange, an effort by a Dad to connect in a positive way with his Teenage Son on the topic of college, expertly deflected by said Teenage Son. 


There is a certain ambiguity to New Mexico, says Peter, an expert after spending a total of three days here.  This is manifested in how you cannot tell whether Orlando’s is a New Mexican café, or a new Mexican café.  I allow as how there is actually a distinct New Mexican culture, particularly in foodways, and plenty of folks have studied and written about this.  Obviously this is a New Mexican café, but it turns out that Bill thought it was a new Mexican café.  Peter can expound at length on the ambiguity of New Mexico except when he is eating at Orlando’s where were very good but so spicy that he was trying to eat them so that he didn’t have to eat them anymore.